I'd rather forget than forgive!

Hi there barbz,
It's meeeeeeee, the Harajuku Barbie.


I'm so sorry I haven't blogged for 2 days ö, especially after I promised myself that if I started a blog, I'd actually blog about something (whatever it might be). Seems like I can't keep up with that promise ): SHAME ON ME xD


Anyways; todays blog is going to be about fathers. Seen to the fact that I haven't seen mine since I was 3 years old my mother is also my father (yup I got an all in one package). So I will talk about my mother instead xD 
But first I will tell you guys why my mother had to fill in my father's spot too. 


The reason I haven't seen my father since I was 3 is because he never cared to visit us after he and my mom divorced. Truth is, he was man enough to get my mom pregnant, but in the end he wasn't man enough to take care of us and care for his 2 daughters. I mean what real man doesn't talk to his daughter for almost 15 years? In my opinion that's not a man, that's not a father, that's a monster. 
But to be completely honest with you guys I never cared (it's like they say, 'you don't care about those who don't care about you'), I never thought of him once since my mom and I left him 15 years ago. We build up our own lives without him and when my little sister got born we were as happy as a normal family. 
But still, after all those years he found the guts to contact us and ask us (I must tell you he didn't contact us himself, but he sent our uncle) to talk to him, to forgive him for what he's done and to pretend like nothing's happened. To bad for him, to much has happened and I build up my life without him.
Because; Dad, where were you when I lost my first tooth? Where were you when I went to primary school for the first and when teachers praised me because I was such a clever girl? Where were you when I went to highschool and was a straight A student? Where were you when I was in trouble, when I needed protection? And where were you when I needed you? 
That's right, you weren't here, mom was though and she taught me everything I needed to know, she protected me, fed me and gave me clothes to wear and a roof above my head. As for you mister, who went away for so many years without any contact with us and in the end you want our forgiveness? Sorry, but no can do! 
I don't hate you for it though, I just don't care what you've made out of your life, 'cause to be honest I got mine now and you chose yours, without us.


Therefor my blog's about you mom, because as you noticed you are my fatherfigure too and mom, won't you ever forget I love you for you and for what you've done for us. Because after everything that's happened you stood there and you did what you had to do for you're family and therefor I look up at you so much. I truely hope I grow up to be just like you, 'cause you are my queen! I'd carry you on my hands if I could just so you won't hurt your feet. I'd take a bullet for you, mother! 
You are my rolemodel and I wish one day I can repay you all the great things you've done for us! Because thanks to you we have so many oppertunities in life! 


Nicki's 'fly' quote:

I wish today it will rain all day, maybe that will kind of make the pain go away. Trying to forgive you for abandoning me. Praying but I think I'm still an angel away, angel away yeah strange in a way.

Have fun with the song (:

Byebye for now barbies!